


Garden Of You

by Petersolacenovak



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Has Anxiety, Character Study, Keiji’s background, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22439062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petersolacenovak/pseuds/Petersolacenovak
Summary: Basically Keiji’s thought process on whether or not going to Fukurōdani for the sole reason of seeing Bokuto Koutarou is a good enough path for him.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 9
Kudos: 72





	Garden Of You

**Author's Note:**

> Idk

Keiji had been alone for a long time. He’d never had many friends and when he did, they were usually just people who would let him eat lunch with them out of pity, or they would give him the occasional wave in the hall and then ignore him while they walked home together.

He spent most of his time at home, studying and drawing absently, along with practicing volleyball in his garage. But he was always alone during that, his mom working often and his dad being overseas.

There were no grudges he held against them though. He loved both of them dearly and was grateful for all that they did for him. If his mom didn’t work as much as she did, they wouldn’t have been able to afford the nice apartment they lived in.

She also seemed to be his best friend for the first sixteen years of his life. Which, yes, was sad. He could admit that to himself, seeing as at some point in his youth he was a young pre-pubescent male who would constantly have to tell his teacher he couldn’t find a partner or a group to work with, as he was too socially inept to find people who would let him join-and would always ask if he could just do it on his own and consult his mother for help.

And of course, the answer was always no, but it was important to try. Even if it meant his teachers would all think he was an incredibly shy and quiet boy who had lots of social anxiety. 

That wasn’t true though. 

Maybe the social anxiety part was true-but he was not a shy person. He could be blunt as all hell and march straight up to someone just to tell them what they were doing wrong.

The social anxiety part only came up when he was in big crowds. He could get panic attacks during school assemblies and couldn’t go to the cultural festival in middle school, because his mom was afraid he’d get one there too-where things were already too chaotic for a teacher or parent to notice his struggles. 

So he was very much alone in life, despite joining the volleyball club in his last year of middle school. It had been intense and sweaty and he almost always went home with his forearms bright red and his fingers throbbing-but he found himself able to communicate with others (Even if they were slightly forced to talk with him) and he was able to focus his mind on something other than schoolwork or his parents.

He practiced everyday, sometimes setting into the air as he lay in bed before sleep and even asking his cousins (Despite not really enjoying their company, as they were all very hyper and at least five years older) to join him in a practice match. 

It was a nice distraction. And that’s exactly how he thought of it-

Until he saw Bokuto Koutarou in a real life match. 

He hadn’t known what it was like to have complete adoration for someone until then. He hadn’t known what it was like to develop a crush on someone. He hadn’t even ever thought about his own sexuality before. 

He couldn’t remember ever looking at girls and thinking he wanted to date them. Maybe he was gay.

But that didn’t make any sense-he had never been attracted to boys either. He had never been attracted to anyone for that matter.

But there was Bokuto Koutarou, defying every rational law that Akaashi thought he had set in stone and forcing the younger boy to stop and smell the volleyball induced roses.

Keiji really wished that he had just moved along from that garden, seeing as allergies began to flare up now and again each time he thought of the way the other boy had slammed down a spike on the other side’s court and earned his team point after point. It had felt like every slam of the ball was Bokuto serving it into his face, shouting,

“You’re in love with me now!”

It was mesmerizing to watch the other boy play. Halfway through, Keiji’s own team left, seeing as they were all there because his coach had said they should look at other teams strategies. They had grown bored and tired, not really having the patience to watch the whole thing and leaving to go to an arcade together.

Akaashi had stayed behind-despite his vice captain asking him if wanted to tag along-and had watched how Bokuto progressed throughout the match. Something jarring, that grabbed his attention after a while, was that after one of his spikes getting blocked, bokuto seemed to grow upset and unable to concentrate on the match.

And, despite his already pounding anxiety over being in such a crowded gym, he felt the need to stand up and shout at Bokuto that he could do it if he just calmed down. That was hypocritical of course, seeing as his own heart was about to beat out of his chest just from looking at the other male-but he wasn’t in the mood to analyze his actions or ideologies on that day. Everything was being focused on Bokuto, the strong and emotionally flexible man on the court below him. 

But he never had to shout in the end.

It was almost poetic how Bokuto’s eyes seemed to stray over to him, like he could hear Keiji’s thoughts, as he then slammed down the winning point for his team. It was as if he had been fueled by Akaashi’s inner monologue just enough to end the match. 

Heart swelling to the size of a two clenched fists, Keiji had stepped out of the bleachers and made his way out of the gym, the wing, and then the building, mind jumbled and sizzling as he walked.

Metaphysical Bokuto’s hands were wrapped around his throat for the entire train ride home, squeezing tighter each time he let his thoughts flutter back to the way they had made eye contact like they were straight out of great romantic piece of cinema. Perhaps next time he wouldn’t run. 

Would there even be a next time though? What was the likelihood of seekng Bokuto Koutarou ever again if he lived out of the district? It wasn’t like he could go to Fukurōdani for high school, just to catch a glimpse of his newfound crush. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


But what if he did?

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> :|


End file.
